Thursday, 30 September 2010

and for dessert sir?



Mike hated pancakes.

He'd hear his mother, out on some mountain, as she cooked with a smelly primus stove, saying 'You'll appreciate them more.'

As he got older, he'd find any excuse to eat out. So at her grave, he thanked her for inadvertently helping him become a food critic.

Random Word: Pancakes

if you want to listen, click on below




A perplexed pussy partly piffle puffs, partly panics.

Random Word: Piffle

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Why sale pitches fail


‘Come, dive into my eyes, make a star of my mouth, lionize my chest, let loose my—’

‘Ahem…sorry mate, I’m only here to read your gas meter.’

Random Word: Lionize

Find your business opportunities



Our Nan exploded and then plip-plopped back together, hourly. 

The doctors said it wasn't possible until the surgery blew up. The police just said keep her home. So we fixed it so she only explodes once a day. 

Now we rent her out as an alarm clock for heavy sleepers.


Random Word: Fragments

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Tuesday, 28 September 2010

In your dreams he waits




The prince of darkness

kisses and strokes gently

any man or woman






Random Word: Strokes 

Whatever love is




Sitting on the bed, to pull her tights off, she said, I’m new to this.’

She wasn’t but it usually relaxed them. 

Linda always told her husband, just to see his eyes mask indifference. Feeling worthless enabled both a painless love.

Undressed, she looked up and said, ‘Please start gently.’


Random Word: Painless Dentistry


Image Maker: Anonymous (Italian)

if you want to listen, click on below

Monday, 27 September 2010

And on the seventh day they were rested




I love me parents…I’m a nurse so the right sorts of pills can make it look natural…but they need lots of looking after, physical and whatnot…you don’t let people you love suffer…me Mam don’t understand why Dad can’t speak after his stroke…I can do it.


 Random Word: 7 days of Rap 


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Sunday, 26 September 2010

I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight




a sparrow soared

higher and higher

but the farther

she flew

the darker the night

until nothing

but an Angel’s weeping eye


to the love lost




Random Word: Sparrows

Saturday, 25 September 2010

I think not of life without you



Will was fed-up trying to get Di to talk about how she felt since her pet dog died. Giving her a lift home, he was badgering until she suddenly screamed,‘Bereft’.

Pleased, Will said,’ I kno— Oh shit,’

Di, fresh from the dentist, was too late. He didn’t and so crashed.


Random Word: Bereft




Image Maker: 'Bennynerd'

If you want to listen, click on below

I watch by dawn and wait by night




From our bed

warm still

with your honey scent

I watch you slowly hide

the fascicle treasure

of each kiss and stroke

and store

for later counting



 Random Word: Fascicle 



Image Maker: Simon Pais

Friday, 24 September 2010

But he who dies in despair has lived his whole life in vain


a bereft blackness

without a candle of hope

settles when death knocks

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Visit Mr.Knowitall to post your own Friday Flash 55 word story or poem!

Don Quixote[5]
Don Quixote was flabbergibbeted

‘Pay!  Sirrah, thou with the countenance of bibulous water, stand out from yon metal horse. I swear by the fair Dulcinea, my hands shall beat thee respect.’

Sancho sighed to the taxi-driver, ‘Tis ever, a mistake to time voyage.’

The driver was just thankful, it wasn’t that Terminator again.



Random Word: A good chance

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Thursday, 23 September 2010

One step at a time



The little piglet
had no future
but until then
as he said
why worry
as when it arrives
it's now, not then
so a future
no longer



Random Word: Piglet

And the jungle shall claim it’s own



'I'll not lose you even if I've to hunt down every single fecking leopard until I find you again.'

Alan, gun in hand, waited, as Corinne, still barely, human rasped,

'Follow me.'

Alan hesitated, lose his humanity or lose her.

The answer was a gunshot - his death, her freedom.


 Random Word: Magic


if you want to listen, click on below


Wednesday, 22 September 2010

She wrote about love, an’ she wrote about leaving





‘I collect singers.’

Kate thought afterwards, she should have left but she laughed, ‘You mean songs.’

Ben had just smiled and played the piano for her to sing, Send in the Clowns.

Then it happen. He’d got up, and pulled her close. 

Her kids and husband forgotten, she kissed first.




  Random Word: Balloons



 Image Maker: Lori Foxworth
if you want to listen, click on below

I've been things and seen places. You?






Bell Wether was the kind of woman whose face told you, it was going to be hot and it was going to be dirty but she’ll want you home by 8.30



Random Word: Bellwether 

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

That we fought, who remembers

Odd couple




She’d like wine and I’d drink beer yet we made love by day and talked by night. So disparate lovers can’t last, we joke with our grandkids.



Random Word: Disparate 





Don't find fault. Find a remedy.



Argon wanted a slave - tongueless - for secrets had leaked. But none had the right skills. Eventually, a suitable slave was found but intact yet late tongue removal was risky.

His wife whispered the solution.

Now at sunrise, she gasps contently and the slave knows how not to tongue-wag,

Random Word: Sunrise Skies

if you want to listen, click on below


Monday, 20 September 2010

And one day steam will rise and they will know death


Image Maker Delen


The storm crashed the privateer into Peking before it could engage with the Chinese airships. The disaster proved to Queen Victoria that the future was in steamplanes. But heavier-then-air flight research would only intensify the cold wars with Red and White Russia.  She decided that this was one for Torchwood.

Random Word: Nothing sounds good

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Sunday, 19 September 2010

I love the way you treasure the gifts that I give you.


auidioboo She boasted

of many things

but she could not

it is said,

even whisper

the name of her child

except to men she lured


Random Word: Lure




Image Maker Bethan Moyse 

Saturday, 18 September 2010

The sea calls true but to the land am I bound

A dream no more Image Maker David Archer

Al's secret lottery dream was Di with him at sail by storm or sun. When they won, he settled for a cruise as love meant more than dreams.

Random Word:Homily

Friday, 17 September 2010

By day I'll lose you but at night I’ll love you

Image Maker: Jennifer Kerr 

Lost in thought





I dream in colour

but live in black and white

as my disparate life

is poetry

only in words

spoken by you







Random Word: Nugacity

Be sillier on this trip while time

Visit Mr.Knowitall to post your own Friday Flash 55 word story or poem!

 Naughty Granies

‘What they don’t tell you, is that the guy without balls has to be gay or he could still help a lonely girl’. 

The women roared with laughter. Millie thought, this was one fun old folks home.

Later at tea, she helped start their first Mexican Bra wave, which when perfected, rounded off most evenings.


Random Word: How could you

if you want to listen, click on below


Thursday, 16 September 2010

Live a dream, play dead

Murder Mystery


Jenny was dead, murdered, they discovered. The bullet hole in the head was a clue. But it was missed as the hotel was auditioning for Murder Mystery corpses. She was offered the job but as they told the police, it was later withdrawn as they found she was over qualified.

Random Word: What if




if you want to listen, click on below

a morning memory

Morning moon

pale morning shadow

of night time's silvery light

the disparate moon

Random Word: Disparate

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

How do the angels get to sleep


Down in the square, the camel’s side-to-side motion made its rider look very green.

The pensioners in the Hair Today barbers were betting on how long he would last. Old Bill had a dead cert from insider information - his boys wore the camel’s costume and had spiked the rider’s beer.


Random Word: Why Not

If you want to listen, click on below

To be aristocratic in Art one must avoid common society

Grande Dame[4]




Lady Smyth was horrified to see who the poetry reader was. It was the Stephen Fry debacle again, only this one was gay and an Australian.




Random Word: Austral

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Zombies have rights too

Zombie Scarecrow[13]



Igor was a paid-up Greenpeace zombie opposed to the better known midnight snackers. But he needed a livelihood so to speak. His solution was to set up Urban Scarecrows ® with its slogan, ‘You looking at me?’. This cut crime and developed a recycled foodline. Well, a guy has to eat.  





Random Word: The Guests  

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Why a fellow gets confused



‘Yes, this painting was from his blue period, which so matches the canapés…but she thought,”When is he going to get that I want a kiss?”



Random Word: Loquacious


Monday, 13 September 2010

Mona Lisa, men have named you

Mona Lisa

She has gazed by candle and harsh eclectic light. But her beauty holds it’s own radiance.

In days, older then me or you, blood was her price, but now a killing is by the rustle of money. So today you write and feel the words fail. She knows and smiles.

Random Word: Public Event

if you want to listen, click on below

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Expectation is the root of all heartache


A bumptious fool

I met but once

as I, a step

on the ladder rung

of his ambition's tarnished soul

as he climbed to his pottage of gold.


Random Word: Bumptious



Image created by R.Myers

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Sons are for fathers the twice-told tale

Dad Tatto


You rang and said 'Andrew.’

I knew then, bloody tattoo

but I was wrong to eschew you

even on yahoo

so Dad, don't redo

just call, love, Drew.




Random Word: Eschew



Friday, 10 September 2010

A perfect love gone wrong

Love Iced




It was on a heist
that we got spliced
but she was iced
when sex was priced.
Thank the Christ,
she ain't my zeitgeist.





Random Word: Zeitgeist.

Swinging in the Jungle

Visit Mr.Knowitall to post your own Friday Flash 55 word story or poem!Armami

Tarzan was alone as love had been kinda of knotty when he spied another man-creature with strange deformities – a chest that sagged and a loin-cloth that didn’t.

As he walked over, Jane looked up and said ‘Fabolousli.’ Armani had found their replacement for Beckham.

And Tarzan? Well he got honey without shaking the tree.


 Random Word: Sleepless

if you want to listen, click on below

Thursday, 9 September 2010

From a dream I fall

Super Rich



Piter was very rich, if he wanted sunshine, he flew there, if he wanted women, they rang him. Piter liked this version of his life.




Random Word: Plausible



Run Rabbit Run

Cooking potI saw this yowza furry babe swimming in distress. It was a new garden but for some bunny-honey I’d dive in. The traps were for saps so at the pool, I called and dived, ready for some sugar. So how was I to know that the Robertson's cooked al fresco.

Random Word: Rabbit

if you want to listen, click on below

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

When in Rome…ask!





It was all a silly misunderstanding the Orion tried to explain.‘You store your dead…well in the ground, which is where we store our food.’





Random Word: Visage

Like The Way I Do

Lesbian Lawyer


The judge asked, ‘Are you married or just one plus one?’

May, taken aback, said,‘What’s this to do with the case?’

‘I’ll not have fornicators in my court.’

‘It’s of no concern if I’m married so can we continue?’

She signalled Carla to keep quiet. One battle, at a time.



Random Word: one plus one

if you want to listen, click on below

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

A calling calls


  Image creator: Luis Montemayor

Funerals made Mike’s head throb whilst weddings made him puke. And as for touching water…So the street Angel saying be a priest was a worry.

Random Word: Steadfast

The spell of landmarks



Mrs Shorthouse asked, ‘Do you sell dreams? I’m in urgent need of one on onions for a nightmare recipe.’

‘S'il vous plaît  Madame  répétez.’

She fished out her spell book but, unfortunately, it was the silent edition.


Annoyed, she turned him into a tower. I believe it’s still there.


Random Word: Red onions

if you want to listen, click on below

Monday, 6 September 2010

You like tomato and I like tomahto…

La Tomatina



Lord Oarlock liked the La Tomatina, with its splish and splash of tomatoes on virginal naked skin so much so that he funded one for his local village garden-fete. Unfortunately, owing to a misunderstanding, the tined tomatoes resulted in legal charges that made it expedient that he remained in Spain.



 Random Word: Tomatoes

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Saturday, 4 September 2010

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar




A famous Freudian psychiatrist wrote about mountains as a keen mountaineer but his class knew it was just latent homosexual sublimation.




Random Word: Psychologist

Friday, 3 September 2010

In the empty morning, a magnum is all he's got

Traffic cop



‘I can see fingerprints in water and fiery steeds.’ The traffic cop looked at his boss, looked again and started to back away slowly.


Random Word: Fingerprints



On seeing Worm's Head

Visit Mr.Knowitall to post your own Friday Flash 55 word story or poem! Also a post for Sunday Scribblings on the prompt of Wait

Rhossili Bay[8]It was on the rocky slopes,
as I recall, west of Swansea
on the way to Rhossili Bay
with the wind set to wet
when we met too soon
our eyes for others
made me a fool
and you so cold
so we passed on by
until our time and place
of the midnight moon.


Random Word: Rocky Slope

if you want to listen, click on below

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Phone booth adverts



I’ve worked with snakes so “snake handler wanted” was on the money.Was I a fool. The snake he pulled out wasn’t the kind I handled.’



Random Word: Divagate

A lettuce a day, and no child‘ll appear

old gardener


‘It is reported that young newly-weds were sat in the garden for a light green salad - it being cook’s day off.  When the gardener had said, “Ee lad, eat that and thou’ll fire blanks”.

That the young lady smiled knowingly, we are given to understand, caused the couple’s estrangement.’




Random Word: Lettuce  

If you want to listen, click on below

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Wortharead Wednesday #17

These are the Twitter (#vss and other wise) stories that caught my eye over the past few days. I tend not to feature the very popular Twitter authors or publishing houses on the basis you will have found them if you are interested. My process is that I favourite any that catch my eye during a day’s viewing as well as doing a search via various #hashtags on Wednesday.  To hold my interest, I want for example, an unexpected twist, a quirky idea or scene, a playful use of words or my curiosity nudged into a ‘hmmm.’  A laugh or an aww won’t hurt either. This usually leaves me 20+ stories that I whittle down to five for no other reason that I can. Click on the image or name if you want to visit the story site. Or on the date stamp to go direct to the story.

Ed decided to alphabetise his friends and introduce the Dewey decimal system to the more complicated of his relationships. #vssFri Aug 27 17:19:24 via Echofon

He told her he loved another. She shrugged. And that affects me how? #vssMon Aug 30 03:02:50 via web

Her parents' will gave the combination to their safe. No gold. No jewels. Only a single photo of her as a baby boy. #vssTue Aug 31 16:05:03 via Twitter for iPhone

Sometimes I think people don't notice my depression because I walk around with my penis out.Tue Aug 31 19:10:49 via Twitter for iPhone

Little Tommy knew one thing: the oak would be there long after his death. Twenty years later, Tom was a dad, and the oak was 3 tables. #vssWed Sep 01 08:44:41 via Chromed Bird