Saturday, 27 June 2009
'Oh you must come round sometime,' she gushed—as she looked around for the £100,000 lottery winners.
He longed to whip out his diary, to see her squirm by taking it seriously. She quickly moved on leaving Bill chuckling. He was the £10,000,000 prizewinner who had ticked for no publicity.
'I love ferns, they are so green and…er…feathery,'said Sally.The visit to Mark's mother was sinking. It wasn't just her being a cut price Barbara Cartland, it was the look-what-the-cat-has-dragged-in looks from behind the china teacup.
'Oh…my late husband loved them.'
Mark gave Sally's hand a triumphal squeeze.
Ooh, my little sweet potato pie,
come to daddies' dumplings thigh.
Hmm, make my bacon spit
and pappy promises to commit.
Oh yeath, break out the biscuits,
and forgive the bad boy pursuits.
Phew baby, did your oven rumble,
this guy's gone so has to scramble.
Call me, whenever. Chow.
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
'Ere mate give me a bleeding chance.' .....
.....Sir Sidney Smyth-Jones, looked over his bifocals
and asked, 'Why are you speaking like
.....At a loss, he turned to his manservant, who said, 'A
cockney geezer, sir.'
....'But it's all the go Pater.' .....
.....Yes… let us hope it keeps on going.'
It was daybreak—they were coming. She heard the
warnings (who hadn't) but love whispered stay.
As the sun fell, she sat, praying. .....
.....For the young that walked by she was the old woman
who muttered over her rosary under sun or rain.
.....The aged just looked away as before.
'Naughty traffic warden time,' Aggie said,
pushing up breasts that caused most men
to double clutch.She wondered if this got his
pistons firing- afterall a woman needed
her engine revving to stop misfires.
.....The car crash silence told it all. He was
clearly pressing the accelerator of
Labels: Saucy Humour
In a stage circle, the broken child smiles,
her hands rise in a circle for Earth.
We stand to mirror and sing out
a song of joy that she guides,
not as a spoilt copy,
but a divine spark
like you and me.
Her last sounds
as gas hisses.
Condemned as corrupt-
a threat to purity.
Sterilised and removed.
No, not by Nazis fanatics,
they only strengthen the solution.
We had the kindness to merely discard.
Monday, 22 June 2009
It was payday. The room gleamed as children in
Sunday best jigged. Martha stood proud in her
frayed wedding-dress as Herbert arrived to proudly
lay wages and steak on the table. It was bread,
cheese, and hungry Friday the rest of the week but
on payday, they ate like Kings.
David asked, 'Do a story about Jewish bread'
.....Johan thought and said, 'Flat or round bread?
.....'Once God saw a good man go hungry. Out of love, He made
flatbread into plaited bread. The man thanked God by giving the
.....'That’s a story?'
.....'For those that listen.'
Trying on the Armani suit Joe looked into
the mirror and what he saw made him think
that's so me. Swirling around, he caught the
assistant's eye, and felt dirty. .....
.....Avoiding why. Joe drew out a blade and
said, 'Wat yo mother looking at?' .....
....The smile made him lash out.
Saturday, 20 June 2009
'You got the Chamber speech yet,' the boss
is hopping mad.
.....'Let him, he sucks,' said Angelica.
.....I bet she's a screamer, Harry thought as
he scanned the script.
.....Making them jump, the boss barked, 'Harry, sack the broad.'
.....Nice one, thought Harry, moving to offer a night of comfort.
.....As Jason took his marriage vows, he
thought this was the best time ever. He thought
the same ten years later when the divorce
became final. Turning to Mike, he just
shrugged. Mike knew what this cost him.
As he kissed Jason, he knew this was the best
I don’t get hummingbirds, all flutter and bill
I don't get humans, all crunch and still
I don’t get hummingbirds, why like bees?
I don’t get humans, why like trees?
I don’t get hummingbirds, they smell
I don’t get humans, they sell
Who cares we know who is clever
'You hear, there ain't going to be a next time,' said
Marline, putting the glass down.
.....Bob, brushed the water away, shocked that he was
capable of punching—and enjoying it.
.....The look in his eyes made her step back.
.....'Hmm baby do you want to spank me as well.'
Thursday, 18 June 2009
I have turned around my life,
to take a pledge, to be true for
always. A last time of lies to us,
except we hear an empty “love us”.
The promise of a perfect TV life,
with scripted smiles performed for
neighbours. You’ll come back but for
secret excitement stolen from us
before leaving to mirage life.
Where was the loving life for us?
'Is it a big where you get learned,' asked Billie
stretched out like a praying mantis.
.....'No it just looks big', said Jeanie, more interested in
the boys then answering her brother's questions.
.....'Will I get learned?'
.....She gave her answer without thinking—a regret
when she remembered his death.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Friday, 12 June 2009
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Bill hated all socks but especially long ones.
His mother would say, ‘Don’t you think he
looks awfully cute in long socks?’
.....Making him blush and the girl next-door
laugh. His revenge came later.
.....‘Yes she likes wearing long socks,’ he would say, asking the nurses to ignore her
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
It was feeling so tired and stretched.
.....‘A meme is like a virus,’ Roger explained
..... ‘For real, said the little boy?
.....‘No, it’s just a way of speaking. You can
post the first message.’
.....And so it grew and grew
Grown-up, Mark pressed the button that wrestled the internet back.
‘You speak into a wire and then every one
with a wireless box hears your voice.’
.....The Research committee members rolled
their eyes discreetly as the Chair dismissed
him with, ‘Thank you. Next.’
.....The man shuffled out.
Nikola Tesla sat in the back wondering, which is why you remember him-honestly!