Saturday, 25 July 2009
Bored by working the crowd for funds, Pete
caught a glimpse of the news … Crash. The
TV broke into fragments. It was a lesson.
Rules were rules. Missing the moon
landing was a consequence of poor school
......He had learned, it’s why he founded the Children Matter Helpline.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
The car engine cranked and then roared
into life, zooming the car out of the driveway
into screeching traffic. A van clipped the
side spinning it back into the garden.
.....Recovering her breath, Ma Jones hit the
instructor with her umbrella. 'You see that's what happens when you don't explain.'
‘Your refit is ready sir.’
.....The first visit resulted in a wrong prescription, an
incorrect lens fitting and a damaged frame.
.....Jack drove to the store that had boasted being the
best in town. A huddled conversation, suggested
‘third time lucky, sir?’
.....No he said,’ its once bitten twice shy.’
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Monday, 13 July 2009
‘Yes, we race to remember our dead’, said Paul
panting—the picture of bronzed health. He was the
centre of admiring glances by most of the women and
the occasional man in the crowd. Smiling, the minister
just looked up and asked quietly, ‘ but how do you
Sunday, 12 July 2009
The bar was almost empty but the Juke Box was belting
out Cash singing, You are my Sunshine.
..... 'Have you saved the last dance for me', Jake asked.
Putting her bottle down, Kate said, 'I reckon I have.'
.....As he held her, he prayed she would make it to
‘Do you love me,’ asked Gertrude, looking up at Basil.
.....‘Like a Dragonfly, whose bright bejewelled looks
enchanted me from our first meeting.’
.....Gertrude looked up sharply. ‘Dragonflies only live
a few days—is this how long our love has?’
.....Basil’s hesitation was to him nerves but to her
'I am afraid that the sperm tests confirm
.....'Yor what Doc?', Keith said looking confused.
.....The Doctor, in his best bedside manner, said, 'it
means that your gun only shoots blanks.'
.....Keith, smiling, said, 'Can I have that in writing?
.....'Yes but why?' It’s my licence for shag heaven.'
Friday, 10 July 2009
Nora lived lets pretend: marriage, love,
Saturday night sex, all for show. A sham
that kept neighbours and family happy. Ah,
bless look at the newlyweds they said,
except he liked men and she turned a blind
eye. It was easier to play couples then ask
whose rules, whose lies.
'Your dad is so old; he can remember what
he was doing when the first black President
.....'Yeath but your mum is so old, she still
has vidpics of the clone Michael Jackson
.....Listening to the argument, Mike
wondered when his memories had slipped into being history.
It was the sunshine on his shoulders that
made him cry. He never cried but here he
was blubbering worse then a Barbie doll
bimbo. The coffin slide down into the grave,
a clatter of dislodged soil disturbing a robin.
Clutching his son, he felt the warmth as her
'He's the sort that thinks he can walk on
sunshine,' Marjorie said, reaching for a
.....Helen tutted. 'Now you now what the
..... 'I thought we were discussing
your mistakes in men, not my waistline.'
.....'Naturally'. Helen said in a light tone, before looking away. One…two… three…
Sunday, 5 July 2009
The start was Sam's rush through country
lanes so he could pose for us in the cloak
and knee breeches uniform of the school.
His Hogwarts paradise. The end was
yesterday's party-time where the dawn rose
over farewells to friends closer than family—time deciding who fades to yearbook
Saturday, 4 July 2009
As they waited for the door to open, Jane said,
'And in no circumstance mention the mashed
.....Tim already nervous, squeaked 'Why'
.....Jane rolled her eyes. 'Mum mashes spuds
with the skin on but Dad mashes peeled.
.....'State a preference and the other will pull
the plug on us'
The ice-cream man tolls his bell for the
living—and the walking dead. The living run
for cold heaven, the dead to plead for sleep.
And one will gain peace if a living child's lust
for ice-cream distracts leaving a car and a
smiling fading wraith their last living memory.
'You never getting any of these dumplings,
.....'Suits me I like to feel peaches not sacks
.....'Yes well I like a man who can see
beneath his belly without a mirror.'
.....'Very droll, but could we keep to Shakespeare's script for The Taming of the Shrew.'
From her table, Rachel heard Saul say, in
his usual God's-gift-to-women voice, 'New
Orleans is jazz history—'
.....Turning to Pablo she said, 'Its one of his
.....Pablo glanced over and said, 'Hmm. great package.
.....Rachel looked back over. 'Believe me his package ain't great,' she said loudly.
Gallop, gallop little horsie until the castle is
The children played below as the adults
talked—it was going badly.
Castle, castle let down your gates for the
Fists slammed and dire threats echoed off walls.
Not on your chinny, chin, chin
Soon the children fought for real.
'Pray to Saint Catalina and she will cure you of the plague.'
the Friar said, fleeing the pleading sick.
.....She raged that death was visiting her and not the Church.
.....That her survival became the miracle of Tunmoor was an
irony not lost on her as she committed to Luther.
'I want to kiss a Blackman,' Freda said at
Friday teatime—on Wednesday and
Monday,the colour was different.
.....The other residents learned to ignore
.....Her daughters from travelling had married a rainbow of men. On weekends, the
visiting husband bowed so Freda could say hello with a kiss.
Lady Genève, declining, said, 'Do say more.'
'Well, I understand that his invitation rests on Lord Halifax being too near the stench of financial scandal.'
'No friend, they live the crime not fit to be named.'
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Friday, 3 July 2009
The writing circle went quiet.
‘Writing stops me feelin gloomy like. If it's on paper, it like it's not real anymore.'
'Yes thank-you, so any feedback for Sandy?'
Nothing moved, except for eyes tracking where his hand was
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'Heretics are to be hairless, sire.' He would wake up feeling the hairy body.
‘Is this Scriptural, Humboldt?’
‘It’s Cain's mark, sire’. holding him down… fingers exploring
‘So why now this token of shame?’
’It is the Lord's will that the sinful are known’.... teaching him sinful pleasure.
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'Stretch, campers. Feel the burn.'
Heart booming, Eddie stood thinking so
this is the best a man gets.
A velvet voice interrupted, 'Buy us a
soda, big boy,'
Turning round he saw breasts you slept
under and a rear fit for a week's hike. They tonsil wrestled on the way.
'I hate you more…more …than double maths,' Annabel said, slamming out.
Betty just looked at Carl daring him to say anything. Who wants to be step-mom, Betty thought, as she lit up.
'Baby she's gonna love it, Just give her time.'
Betty gave Carl the look and made her decision.
Dracula: 'Bare to me your white virgin throat,'
sounds of flapping curtains
Virginal teen: 'Oh get real you old perve.'
Dracula: 'Why I have--'
Virginal teen: 'You ain't eating for free granddad.'
Dracula: 'And your price.'
bed creaking as he sits
Virginal teen:'Now we are in talksville.'
Thursday, 2 July 2009
'The EU says that all cucumbers have to be straight.'
'Has to be sexed up?', the press officer said.
'You know what I mean.'
'What about Wimbledon straw—'
'Do you actually know about the EU?'
'It ruins Parliament.'
'I think, you'll find that Parliament does fine by itself.'
'Before they had recordings people didn’t remember old dude's music,' Paul said, to the class...'
The teacher started to frown.
'...When Beethoven was the top man, they forgot Mozart to make space'
Thank you Paul.'
Not listening, Paul said, 'I mean, who don’t we get because of old dudes space?