Friday, 30 April 2010

While out walking

Can you write a 55 word story or poem? Then visit

 

I
sit here
without you
alone but for
the splash and gurgle
of our shiny river.
Above me the mountain waits
snow tipped, and bubbling clouds as when
we first met, thinking it was the love,
that sings as birds waken the morning sun.
But you only wanted rest, to gather strength for another’s song.

Random Word: River


31 comments:

  1. Thanks for the invite to drop by. This was really lovely. Do you mind if I adopt the format for some of my poetry? I could definitely use the challenge!

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  2. Bitter sweet. Very nicely done.

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  3. That's good - you could do it this way every time, that would make interesting reading.
    I've done similar pieces, with 6,7,8 lines. I didn't realise it was a recognised form.

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  4. I love this 55!!!

    Check mine out
    http://msjstar1275.blogspot.com/

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  5. My gosh John....this is one of the best ever. How talented you are.

    Mine this week is DOUBLE STANDARD As always, scroll down a bit, below my Friday's Show n Tell.

    Have a super weekend fellow 55'r!!

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  6. Thanks so much for sending me the correct link, now I understand your comment about meter and verse.

    And wow, this is so bitter sweet, really wrenches at the heart strings.

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  7. amazing... well done!
    hugs
    shakira

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  8. This makes me sad, in a bittersweet way.

    An interesting format and a challenge no poet could resist. Thanks!

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  9. Well done! Like what you've done with the form. Thanks for sharing.

    That Pain

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  10. very carefully cooked!
    I like it!

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  11. You used this form very cleverly to spin your sad tale. Very nicely done!
    Thanks so much for visiting my 55.

    Eaton. :))

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  12. It's good. I was always seriously impressed by how good the actual writing was, by everyone. I honestly don't know much about writing, I just knew I liked the way it read.

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  13. Oh very nicely done!

    Thanks for stopping by to read my 55 and taking the time to comment. :)

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  14. Nicely written!!!

    Thanx for stopping by my blog.

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  15. I like it. Sad at the end though but a good twist.

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  16. Interesting form of poetry. You did a wonderful job telling a bittersweet story with it.

    Thanks for visiting my 55.

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  17. OUTSTANDING, John! Now I have to go and try the "syllable" thing.

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  18. Thanks for invite. I had heard but needed yours to try out.

    Yours was wonderful, like it like it

    Jim

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  19. Our 55's are similar this week, though I didn't include love in mine.

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  20. Very touching and with such strong visuals. Great 55 and thanks for visiting mine.

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  21. This is wonderful. I love it :) Very bittersweet my friend. But excellent. :)I really liked it :)

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  22. beautiful. very descriptive and touches the heart of the river. As the others say- bittersweet.. have a great spring weekend.

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  23. Very nice poetry, I'd lose the form though!

    aka Andy Sewina

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  24. Oh, wow. This is so beautiful and what a challenging way to piece it together. I like how you made the form your own with that last line. I've always resisted counting out syllables, but maybe I should give it a try.

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  25. John, this piece is REALLY beautiful and well done!

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  26. Having been the Filler of the Gap, I feel this through and through.

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  27. And sing again it will...
    Excellent 55 John.
    Thank you for visiting, thank you for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

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  28. just like a country song

    sing it in 55

    thanks

    I'm at http://moondustwriter.com

    Cheers and happy weekend

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  29. This is beautiful, both in meaning and form.

    Thanks for commenting on my 55 as well. Have a great weekend.
    -C

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  30. http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/jingles-may-followers-award.html

    some May awards,
    Happy Sunday!

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  31. Aww, where's my hanky?

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Welcome and thanks for dropping in. I'll pop by yours by and by.

This blog was inspired by First 50 words where you freewrite from a single word prompt. I use random words or images to create flash fiction in formats ranging from twitter postcards to short short stories.