Friday, 23 July 2010

The pillow grows cold

Visit Mr.Knowitall to do your own 55 word story or poem!

eggs sit on my desk
shells broken
with toast half eaten
it’s yet another morning
cold like all the others
 
the phone blinks unwanted
as a fly rests
and is watched
while tea is sipped
an old comfort
 
downstairs no radio
now blares music
the letter sits discarded
and the clock is silent
forever stopped
 
Random Word: A cold one


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33 comments:

  1. That's disturbing. Well written.

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  2. You set an intriguing scene there.

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  3. wow,
    very good rhythms...
    nice 55.

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  4. interesting...i like it. it gave me the feel of sitting there numb jjust taking in all the surroundings....nice 55.

    mine is uP!

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  5. Nicely written buddy, I enjoyed your 55 words..

    Yours Frendly,
    Saravana Kumar M

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  6. Very moving! Lovely yet sad.

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  7. you managed to catch this lonely feeling so very well - nice 55

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  8. This is a well done description of a sad (and all too common, I fear) scene. Like many, I've been there. I remember my face being a little numb.

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  9. Wow, yea, a numb morning. Enjoyed it! Nice 55

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  10. You made time stand still with this one... I know the feeling; had a few mornings like that once upon a time.

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  11. A big real of quiet sadness. Excellent visuals and I like the black and white pic. it really set the stage!

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  12. Did someone die here?
    What a freaky scene...
    Excellent 55 though.
    In fact one of todays best so far!
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

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  13. Let that not happen to me...
    Mine here

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  14. for some reason I get the eerie sensation of a suicide being contemplated. why would I think such a thing?

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  15. You created a mood here of foreboding, and loneliness. Makes me want to know more of the story. Nicely done! And thanks for stopping by at Life is Good.

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  16. Wow, what a moment, what a day to face. Such a character and situation in so few words -- I loved reading it even with the mood being so dark. It drew me in.

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  17. The day after....it comes to us in so many ways...this time, not a good day but tomorrow is always better.

    Thanks for stopping by this morning and visiting with me.

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  18. Very sparse and clear.
    the story unfolds and the letter discarded wraps it up. I often think of clocks in my poetry, you've captured the moment of closing the door on an ending.

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  19. Sad...yet so descriptive.

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  20. Sometimes no distractions and lonliness is just what we need...Lovely 55!

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  21. Definitely, this is not a happy poem - I am left feeling sad and wondering what it all means, what has happened. Very well done.

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  22. John, well written. I felt the heart numbing loneliness of your character. I always thought I wanted more time to myself... until I got it.
    Cee

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  23. That's a cold 55

    hey I'm psyched to see you follow One Stop Poetry
    thanks! We appreciate how well we have been received

    Smiles from the moon

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  24. I read this twice...not quite grasping the first time what it was all about. There is an aloneness in here..thought provoking with such deep emotion..yet it sucks you in!! I loved it...very skilfull writing. I will be coming back for more. Thanks so much for sharing!! ~ Amanda x

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  25. Your words have conjoured up such a lonely and empty exitence very well
    I love the use that you have put ordinary words to in that on their own you think nothing of them but together they creat such a void becuase you know what they are what they mean

    "eggs sit on my desk
    shells broken
    with toast half eaten
    it’s yet another morning
    cold like all the others"

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  26. Came back thru to read this again. You can read it several ways. The first time was death the second was death of a relationship

    Nicely done
    Thanks for linking up with One Shot Poetry

    Moon Smiles

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  27. Ack... that was a moving one..
    I hate stopped clocks.. I somehow feel they scream louder that those blaring alarms! And their screams are much colder too...
    Your poem was the nerve chilling!! You've narrated this sad story to perfection!

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  28. hi, been away and am busy catching up on all the wonderful posts to One Shot..this was sad but so well written..thanks for the share..cheers Pete

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Welcome and thanks for dropping in. I'll pop by yours by and by.

This blog was inspired by First 50 words where you freewrite from a single word prompt. I use random words or images to create flash fiction in formats ranging from twitter postcards to short short stories.